Dick of the Week: Nov 8-Nov 14….

15 Nov

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to another edition of the popular(?) blog Dick of the Week.  Now, much like a college student, I forgot to do my post on Sunday.  So, I am hoping that I can turn it in to you now and still receive full credit for my senseless ranting.  Is that ok?  Yes?  Fantastic, glad to see nothing has changed.  I must confess that I found myself torn this week.  It was an odd week where much of the focus was on people who would qualify as Dick Hall of Famers who just weren’t setting the bar high enough.  Honestly, if Mel Gibson had another tape released where he created another robust line of quotable “life lessons”, we would all yawn and say AND?  Therefore, we had to dig deeper.  And then I saw this.  NOOOOOO Not Google.  The epitome of laid back successful 21st century companies.  How could they fire someone for leaking such benign information to the public?  This is the company who famously fought China on the grounds of censorship, and gives us such cheeky homepage updates (like PACMAN).

Responsible for 80 million lost work hours

How could I have no choice but to denounce this company as evil?  This was a big matzah ball.  If you can get fired for something this benign, why not facebook posts?  Or unrelated blog posts (Oh no!)?  But, then I collected myself and realized that it was not, in fact, Google who was at fault here.  It was the random Google employee responsible for leaking this internal information to the press (It was so obvious).  That person was the dick I had to highlight this week.

Clearly, I was out of ideas...

To preface, while we can pick on people of celebrity (because it’s easy), that is not always our intent.  Sometimes a regular person can make such a grand dickish gesture that it would be foolish to avoid commenting on their actions.  In this case, a man thought it was pertinent to release the news that he (and his co-workers) were to receive a 10% pay raise across the board.  Why is that so bad (besides the fact that Google isn’t really doing that well right now)?

But if I flip it....

While most companies are struggling and many people are either searching for jobs or taking less money; you thought it was a good idea to leak to the press that you were going to get a 10% salary increase.  Wow.  Aren’t you special.  Now, Google is clearly doing this to motivate employees, but, also, clearly did not want this information released to the general public.  I don’t know, kind of a sore subject to be releasing information about raises this soon after a recession.  And, we cannot fathom a reason to release this information to the public except to gloat about all the money you are expecting.  While I can support noble causes for releasing confidential information; this was not a Woodward and Bernstein job.

Can someone please tell me when this haircut is back in style?

You were really only leaking this information to make the rest of us feel bad.  While we don’t know who you are, we have no choice but to say that your leak was a colossal dick move.  And we have to apologize to Google for even considering them for Dick of the Week.  You were just doing your best to motivate your employees, and someone had to come in and ruin it all for you.  What a dick.

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