Everyday Dicks: Tupperware Co-worker

19 Dec

Greetings all on this holiday season.  I would like to give you all an early gift of a new posting category we will be doing periodically to keep you all interested.  Our normal sections deal expressly with the grandiose actions that public figures can make.  While these people will usually be the Dicks of the Week because of their resources and attention to do so;  that does not mean that an everyday person’s actions can and/or should go un-noticed.   Regular people can certainly be dicks too.  While you may not KNOW this person, you certainly know someone like them.  And without further ado, I give you the Tupperware Co-Worker.

This particular dick sinks up well with the holidays because many people are taking the time to make cookies, brownies and other eatables to share with the office.  Very nice, we have no problem with these people even if they might make us feel a little guilty about not doing the same.  And we certainly will not fault the person who takes 2 or 3 cookies back to their desk to enjoy.  It’s only natural.

If it keeps them from going postal

The issue arises when you see other people start to bring tupperware to these events.  For those who don’t know, Tupperware is a plastic resealable reusable container that many people will use to bring in a lunch or save a meal they have already cooked.  I’m pretty sure it was never used to “steal as much communal food as humanly possible before others get to it.”  These people will actually bring in clean tupperware to snipe any and all free food events.  It is because of these people that it becomes acceptable to take 2 or 3 cookies because you don’t know if will be any left later.  People have even been known to stake out catered meetings to steal extra food.  Chill out.

Why is this bad?

Well this has a couple aspects to it.  If you are someone who hangs around conference rooms just to contact your office friends when to come take the free food…you’re not working.  If you happen upon free food, huzzah it’s your lucky day.  But to actively seek it out is something completely different, especially if you make a decent wage.  (This all becomes void if you are an unpaid intern because you are most likely tapping into your primal urge of survival when you take extra food)

Normally we aren’t “opposed” to gluttony but there is a certain difference when someone takes the time to prepare something for the entire office only to see a handful of people get their hands on it.  Plus screw that guy, maybe I wanted a fucking brownie too.  If there happens to be leftover food on a table after a party, fine take some.  But, if you’re going to turn this into some mad dash to get as much of the food as you can…it should be ok to trip you.  While this may be smaller in comparison to most dicks that we write about.  It certainly does not preclude you from being labeled a dick for your actions.  So, any person who takes the time to bring in tupperware to steal inordinate amounts of free food is clearly an everyday dick.


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