Everyday Dick: The Elderly Motorist

8 Feb

Hey there loyal followers, we wanted to keep you mildly entertained by trying to post semi-frenquently this week.  And this week is bursting with people who take little to no consideration of others and/or self promoting themselves for inane reasons (i.e. dicks.  I went with a vague definition instead of making up a word).  Anyhoo, the whole lack of consideration for others ties very well into this topic because I cannot tell you how much old people driving pisses me off.  If it were up to me I would mandate everyone over 65 to take a driving test to prove that they can reach/maintain at least 65 (well that’s irony) miles per hour while driving.

No! Don't Look at ME! Merge! Merge! MERGE DAMN YOU!

Now I know what you’re all thinking: Isn’t speeding the biggest reason people die while driving?  I won’t disagree, people are dicks.  They like to get into there overpriced cars and burn rubber which leads to people dying.  But at the same point that doesn’t make GOING TOO SLOW that much safer.  You see these little old grandmothers who can’t see over the damn steering wheel putt-putting along at 35 mph on I-95.  What, that’s safe?  If you get stuck behind that car you’re going to die trying to merge with traffic going 65+.  And to be honest, most of us have to speed just to merge into the damn lanes.  What happens if you get lost behind one of these dinosaurs?

The point is, many of these people have led fulfilling lives (Maybe).  And the last things they want to cling to are there vestibules of independence; whether it be cars, homes, and shopping.  I am not trying to take 2 of those things from you.  But seriously, if you have to get out of your car to get ticket to enter a parking lot when you can’t even realize that the damn entry gate is open because Saturdays are free…WE HAVE A PROBLEM.  God forbid someone cuts you off.  The truth is you simply cannot process information quickly enough to stay on the road.  You either a) irritate the crap out of anyone who ends up behind you at a light making a left turn or b) put many of us at risk because you drive so much slower than the rest of us.  And you simply act like dicks every time you persuade your kids to let you keep driving.  It’s all I’ve got left to live for. Nice try but I am not convinced.  But hey it can’t be that bad, right?  Older drivers are more likely than younger ones to be involved in multi-vehicle crashes, particularly at intersections.  WHAT!  God DAMN IT!   I know what can fix this.

Euthanize, who doesn't want to be younger?-Harvey Birdman

I don’t care who you are, that joke’s a scream.  Good thing the vast majority of the people who fit this profile probably don’t have internet access.


One Response to “Everyday Dick: The Elderly Motorist”

  1. facebook February 17, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

    i love it

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