Tag Archives: Olbermann

Another Keith Olbermann Update

20 Jun

We’ve made no secret of the fact that Keith Olbermann is one of the reasons that this blog was founded.  It’s not even that we hate Keith.  We kind of like him, in what I imagine is the same sort of inexplicable way that old people like small dogs that bark nonstop and pee on the carpet.  Keith reminds us that there will never be a shortage of dicks to write about, and, even better, proves time and again that even if we DID run out of dicks, we could always just write a post a day about him.  When Keith was fired from left MSNBC, we gloated a little.  After all, he was our inaugural Dick of the Week.  And even though we have retired the award, Keith’s achievement is still important.  Did we hope he would be gone forever? Maybe. Did we think he would actually disappear? Sadly, no.

Has Keith let unemployment get to him? You be the judge. (Photo courtesy of WEBN-TV)

In any case, Keith’s new show, creatively named “Countdown with Keith Olbermann,” will premier on the Current TV network tonight.  Current TV, you ask?  Despite Keith referring to it as a “start-up” network, this little Al Gore owned station has been around for six years now, and by our estimation is up to perhaps as many as a dozen subscribers!

We were hoping Keith would be off the airwaves for good, but, the way we see it, a show on Current TV might be a fate worse than death.

Of course, the real question remains: if Keith Olbermann rants and no one is tuned in to hear it, does he make a sound?


Dick of the Week Special Comment

24 Jan

Today, as promised, a Special Comment on the firing of Keith Olbermann.  A mere two and a half months ago, we selected Keith Olbermann as our very first Dick of the Week.  With his unique blend of unapologetic hypocrisy and overwhelming egotism, Olbermann has always stood out to us as one of America’s most precious partisan commodities, and we have valued his almost constant presence near the top of the Dick of the Week list each and every week.  Yes, Olbermann has been at the top of our list week in and week out.  No one else.  Not Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin.  Not Brett Favre or Rex Ryan.  Not Ben Affleck, and not Charlie Sheen.

Just Keith.

And we believe that level of consistency has to be admired.  Few have been able to maintain such a constant lack of integrity.  Of course, those in charge at MSNBC shouldn’t admire him.  Granted, Countdown with Keith Olbermann had the highest ratings of any show on MSNBC, though that’s really akin to being the fastest sprinter at the Special Olympics.  We’re proud of Comcast, NBC’s new owners, in a way.

If I bought NBC, firing Keith Olbermann would be the first thing I would do, too.

Hope you weren't too attached to that office, Keith.

Two days have passed since Keith announced that he was leaving the network.  They were kind enough to allow him the time to sign off on his own terms.  But Keith couldn’t even let that go in a pleasant manner, using some of his time to instead throw his former employers, ESPN, under the bus for not allowing him a similar luxury when he left that network.

Indeed, I do believe that Keith…that Keith…

Okay, you know what, no.  I was going to do this entire post in the style of Keith Olbermann’s Special Comments, but I just couldn’t bring myself to finish.  Do you know how hard it is to sound that Goddamn pompous while maintaining a nonstop slew of hypocrisy?  It’s hard fucking work!  I threw up seven times just writing the intro to this post.  Olbermann has a strong stomach and (evidently) no mirror.

So we’re just going to go ahead and celebrate that our very first Dick of the Week has bitten the proverbial dust.  Maybe the title of this post is rubbing it in a little bit, but…well, yeah, it is.  And I love it.